Unconditional Love?

“You would see a flash in his eyes when people used terms like “Love” to describe their favourite meal. To him the word “Love” had been misused so often it was now corrupted beyond any practical use. To the Visitor, Love was a word reserved for the sacred, such as the spirit
of another person - not for chocolate or wine.”

— The Visitor, pg 3

If you have read the blogs up until today, and struggled with the concept that The Visitor is not just a Love story, but rather a story of Love, then today's blog should help you in gaining a deeper understanding.

In this blog, we tie together the concepts of the Visitor's extreme dualistic viewpoint, his views of things either being sacred or mundane, and his frustration with the inadequacy of language.  You will also get insights into the reason why Truth and Love are central themes, occurring over and over again.  It is the essence of The Visitor.  

Within the first three pages we get a glimpse of the Visitor's perspective on Love.  As discussed in previous blogs, the word Love throughout The Visitor is always capitalized.  Love is not used as an adjective, or a verb, but rather as a proper (or even personal) noun denoting something more than an emotional feeling.  As explained earlier, to the Visitor - Love is a sacred word, not to be used lightly, and as such should only be spoken from the soul.

Even for people who might be able to relate to the idea of how easily and often the word Love has been misused,  the Visitor is deeply concerned with the watering down the true meaning of a sacred notion (in this case the notion of Love) that it becomes meaningless.   

There is no such thing as unconditional Love or true Love, as that would imply that there is the potential existence of conditional Love or false Love.  There is only Love. 

One of the more popular, "innocent" uses of the word Love is found within the frequent and flippant quip of "Unconditional Love".  People use it so often, to assert a "strong" Love, that they don't stop to realize that in doing so, they give credence to a notion that Love can be conditional.   I myself literally cringe whenever I hear someone use the phrase, "Unconditional Love".   To acknowledge the existence of one extreme, is to acknowledge the existence of the other. Can you really have anything such as "conditional Love"?  If the answer is no, if it is conditional than its not truly Love; then it is also true that it is impossible to have it's antithesis - "unconditional Love".  This is an intrinsic example of the dualistic world view of the Visitor.   There are no shades of grey.  You cannot have "unconditional Love" without promoting through your assertion that there also exists a "conditional Love".  The fact is, the dualistic polar opposite of Love is hate...and any limits, conditions or anything else you may try to place on Love takes you away from Love.

This concept is really no different than when someone pleads they are telling "the honest truth".  Is there any other type of truth?  Is there a dishonest truth?  When did it become necessary to defend the truth?  As the Visitor makes it clear, defending the truth dilutes it.  

Notions such as "unconditional Love or honest Truth" pollute the purity of the concepts and notions behind Love and Truth.  You can't dilute either without it becoming something else.  A little white lie is a lie - not the truth.  And a diluted Love may be affection, or strong liking, or kinship, but it is not Love.  Love is pure, as is truth. There are no shades of Truth or Love.  They are absolutes.

Combine both of these bastardizations of Love and Truth and you end up with another popular quip that waters down and diminishes both concepts, the cute phrase of "True Love".  Really?  Is there any other kind?  Is there a false Love?  If there is then by it's very definition, it wouldn't be Love, no more than a false Truth would be Truth.

If you are able to say that you have unconditional Love for someone, than you are recognizing by that assertion the existence of Love at times being "conditional" - else why make the distinction?  And if you think you are capable of recognizing, endorsing or enacting a Love that is not unconditional, then simply put, I have to question if you really know what Love is.

Harsh? - Perhaps...

I understand that people don't really think about what they say, or really understand the deeper meaning of what they say, or even the implications or what they say.  They hear something, it sounds good, they repeat it. Innocent enough.

But when you give life or recognition to the idea that there is such a think as "conditional Love" by stressing at anytime for anyone that you have an "unconditional Love" then you are actually part of the problem of supporting the watering down of what is a sacred word.  Love.

This is the point of the Visitor when he is upset by people misusing the word Love to describe mundane things like chocolate or wine.  When you misuse the word, you make the word meaningless.

Besides the notion of Love being sacred, the Visitor recognizes how things may try to "pass for Love which are not, and tells the crowd to be on guard against such things.  In the poetic parable on Love (pg 33) we get a sampling of this notion.  Although the words you hear may be tempting, and may be what you want to hear - do not be fooled.

Do not settle for less than Love.
Such leaves you incomplete.
Do not be tempted by false Love,
Although it may seem sweet.

Stronger yet is the poetic parable on Truth and Honesty, where the Visitor expands on this idea.  In this parable, the Visitor describes how the word Love should stir from your soul (not from your mind), and never be used for describing mundane or carnal notions.  Even more to the point, the Visitor tells those present to take care of careless use of such sacred words, as it is the way of those who would trick you to diminish truths.  As such, using terms like "unconditional Love, honest Truth, and even True Love" simply confuse people.  

Never say “Love” as a word with no weight
Sacred words should stir from your soul
Nor should you ever speak dark words of hate
As dark words of hate take their toll.

When you claim “Love” in describing possessions
You diminish the meaning of your word
So when you say, “I Love” it may lead to questions
And your true passion may never be heard.

Such is the way of the tricksters
To diminish the truths you would speak
To confuse all your brothers and sisters
And to hide the truth you would seek.

Perhaps a simple notion.  Perhaps one you have never really even put you mind too; and your misuse of such words is no more than innocent ignorance.  But when you understand Love, and Truth, you will realize that there is no such thing as half measures.  You can't Love 99% any more than you can claim Truth to be less than 100%.

Love absolute and complete is not a novel concept.  The idea that Love cannot be conditional is easily understood by Luke 6:27 where we are told to "Love our enemies", no strings attached, no conditions;

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“But to you who are listening I say: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you,  bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. If someone slaps you on one cheek, turn to them the other also. If someone takes your coat, do not withhold your shirt from them. Give to everyone who asks you, and if anyone takes what belongs to you, do not demand it back. Do to others as you would have them do to you. “If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners love those who love them."

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If you can relate to this concept, then you are well on your way to understanding The Visitor as not just a Love story, but a story of Love.  In closing, and to drive the essence of The Visitor home, I leave you with 1 John 4:8 to emphasize why the word Love is viewed by the Visitor as a sacred notion.

 Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.

Until next time,

Journey in Love

Michael Paul

Truth and Honesty - Stanza VIII

The "trickster" is a mythological reference used widely in different religions.  Across different cultures and different Faiths they share a common trait of using secret knowledge to confuse (or intentionally abuse) social conventions. 

Such is the way of the tricksters
To diminish the truths you would speak
To confuse all your brothers and sisters
And to hide the truth you would seek. 

In this blog we will explore the poetic parable running through Stanza VIII of Truth and Honesty.  For those who have been reading the previous blogs, they will understand the concept of the "poetic parable".  If you are not familiar with the concept, I would recommend a quick review of the June 19 blog.

In this stanza, you will become more familiar with both the visitor's dualistic views, and be exposed to how he struggles against both the written and spoken word, wishing he could communicate in another way.  This is shared by the narrator on page 4 of The Visitor;

It was probably a natural progression that the more he heard, the less he liked words. The most innocent exchanges became pointless. He began to dread the socially expected small talk. He started to hesitate before speaking, as he worried about how people might attribute
wrong statements to him due to their different understanding between what he meant and what they understood or what they believed they heard, or wanted to hear.

In this poetic parable we see the visitor explain some of his hesitation towards language, as he starts to openly discuss how using words carelessly in our everyday language can diminish truth. 

Truth and Honesty, Stanza VIII - Line I : Such is the way of the tricksters

This line may seem to catch the reader off guard.  Exactly who, or what is meant by "the tricksters"? 

The "trickster" is a mythological reference used widely in different religions.  Across different cultures and different Faiths they share a common trait of using secret knowledge to confuse (or intentionally abuse) social conventions.  For example, intentional misuse of the word "Love" would not be outside the norm of the trickster.  Many readers may be familiar with Loki from Norse mythology who was not only a trickster, but a shape-shifter.  The common connection of all the tricksters is they use intellect, trickery and deceit.  Again, the misuse of the word Love to get what someone wants (calling on the sacred to obtain the mundane) would be a prime example of how a trickster works.  

The warning of the trickster is also cited many times within the Old Testament.  Probably the more well known example is the story of Jacob.  In Genesis Jacob is shown how to trick his brother out of his birthright, and then trick his father out of Esau's rightful blessing.  In each  case Jacob is shown to be intellectual, dishonest, greedy and skillfully manipulative.  In each case he blurs the lines between sacred and mundane.

 Truth and Honesty, Stanza VIII - Line II : To diminish the truths you would speak

Here the visitor flips back to focus on the role of our own actions.  The way of the trickster may be to confuse, but the responsibility still rests with each of us.  To accept common bad practice as normal does not protect us from the impacts of participating in bad practice.  Again, the visitor is very consistent in this message.  As he shares in the poetic parable on Laws

     Try as you must and accepting the flaws
For the best, we must all get along;
But silence or absence from your book of laws
Is no defence against doing what’s wrong.

Responsibility and accountability always remains with each of us.  Even though it may well be acceptable to use the word "Love" for mundane things and possessions, that does not protect you from diminishing you truths you would speak when you use the term Love flippantly.   

This personal accountability is another strong central theme running through the course of the novel.  In fact this concept of personal accountability is stressed on the first page of The Visitor where the narrator of the story literally provides the reader with a warning: 

You cannot unsee what you have seen
Nor unhear what you have heard. 
Turn around now and take your leave
Or you too will own each word. 

This warning basically calls the reader to accountability.  When the veil of ignorance is lifted, you can no longer truthfully hide behind it.  This warning is provided on the very first page of The Visitor to let the reader know that there is a responsibility which goes along with awareness and understanding.   

But again, this line runs even deeper in conjunction with the underlying poetic parable.  By bringing the element of the trickster and awareness together we have added the element of responsibility and accountability - at least as far as Truth is concerned. 

Truth and Honesty, Stanza VIII - Line III : To confuse all your brothers and sisters

He once again we find the cost.  Confusion.  It is the lack of clarity which causes many conflicts.  It is misunderstanding; whether caused intentionally (as in the case of the trickster) or unintentionally (lack of clarity or common understanding).  It is in the mixing of the mundane with the sacred where the visitor has a lot of spoken issues.  

Case in point is the narrator's description of the visitor when it comes to the subject of prayer in the prologue of the novel;

Saying he may have been “offended” by people who prayed with hope, as if tossing coins in a fountain during difficult times, is probably a bit unfair. I am not sure he would have been “offended”, but he did struggle with people habitually turning the sacred into the mundane.
You would see a flash in his eyes when people used terms like “Love” to describe their favourite meal. To him the word “Love” had been misused so often it was now corrupted beyond any practical use. To the Visitor, Love was a word reserved for the sacred, such as the spirit of another person - not for chocolate or wine.

This intentionality an clarity within a dualistic viewpoint is one of the consistent characteristics of the Visitor.  To him, things were mundane or sacred, hot or cold, black or white.  It is why he sees himself and his views as extremely simple.

Truth and Honesty, Stanza VIII - Line IV : And to hide the truth you would seek. 

Without a doubt there is a play on words in the last line of stanza VIII.  In between "hide and seek" is the truth.  To the visitor, the truth is accessible to us all, and to each one.  He does not go so far as to ever claim a universal truth, but rather, that the journey to truth may in fact be different for each and everyone of us.

Again we see consistency in this message, for example in the poetic parable on Hiding our Nakedness, the visitor says;

There are many different ways to go;
Your journey is not mine.
Trust me, you don’t want to know
The path etched in my mind.

It matters not what you may think
Of where or why I go.
From my cup you cannot drink
Worry not ‘bout what I know.

_____________________________________________________________

So while the poetic parable running through stanza VIII of Truth and Honesty may seem complex, from the visitor's viewpoint it is quite simple and his message is consistent.  Do not accept the social norms of mixing the sacred with the mundane, such as using the word Love to describe your favourite meal.  When you blur the lines between sacred and mundane, you diminish truth.  The cost of diminishing truth is confusion, to yourself and to others.  And in such a world of confusion, you may obscure your own truth you are looking for.

Until next time; I leave you stanzas VI through VIII on Truth and Honesty together.

Journey in Love - Michael Paul

Never say “Love” as a word with no weight
Sacred words should stir from your soul
Nor should you ever speak dark words of hate
As dark words of hate take their toll.

When you claim “Love” in describing possessions
You diminish the meaning of your word
So when you say, “I Love” it may lead to questions
And your true passion may never be heard.

Such is the way of the tricksters
To diminish the truths you would speak
To confuse all your brothers and sisters
And to hide the truth you would seek.