The Curse of Grace

The Visitor is not an easy read.  It is not what it appears to be, and even if you think you do understand it, it would be best to place such understandings to the side.  Today, for the first time, I am going to share personal insights that are instrumental in understanding why this book cannot be interpreted by anyone; for anyone else.  It is why The Visitor when talking about Knowledge on page 59 says:

He strips you from reason to reveal the truth
For these visions he sees are not yours.
He guides you to knowledge that lives within you
And leaves you - to open the doors.

As outlined in the very first pages of the book, this story moves from fiction to non-fiction without notice or apology.  As described in blogs to this date; there are two parallel stories that run through The Visitor at the same time; a Love Story, and a Story of Love.  However, neither of those stories will lead you to what is in the pages.  Both of those stories are "fictional".  We have yet to explore the Truth of the novel; the fact that the work itself is one of non-fiction.

To help explain the non-fictional basis for The Visitor - today's blog is about "The Curse of Grace".  To some, this concept may seem blasphemous, crazy, distorted or just simply hard to grasp.  However, The Visitor is very intentional in meeting the reader half-way in this discomfort on page 10 where the author shares;

The rumours of who he was were not the reality, but rumours in time became the accepted version of the truth. Depending on who you talked to he was either a mystic, an intellect or just a crazy old man with a bad temper who had chosen to become a bit of a recluse.

This concept that rumour and versions of realities may not accurately depict "Truth", but may still become accepted as reality is important.  The literal description of the Visitor as possibly being a mystic, an intellect or crazy are all just versions or reality.  It is never clarified which version may or may not be real.

So here, for the first time, are personal insights never before shared with others that may lead the reader to have to choose whether the Visitor is a mystic, an intellect or just crazy.  (To the Visitor, it matters not...as stated very early (on page 3); The Visitor was aware of his shortcomings in not being able to see the middle between extremes; however, he would not have changed his understandings for anything. And here, we have the first glimpse into the suffering of the Visitor -  "The Curse of Grace". 

Grace by the understanding of most people is viewed as positive.  As a "blessing" or "comfort".  It is even viewed by many as a virtue.  So to talk about it as a curse, may be strange for you to understand.  However, The Visitor is intentionally very consistent in the non-fictional underpinnings of the central message.  

In Joy and Sorrow (pg 56) the reader encounters the following statement where the Visitor is warning the reader to not make assumptions beyond the moment - but then talks about "pain" and "current state".  This passage, like the novel itself fails to make sense when read from traditional understanding of what Grace is, yet it is doubtful that the reader actually breaks from the rhyme or rhythm of this verse of poetic parable to notice that it is probably discordant with their understanding of Grace.

Do not pre-judge your future
By your current state of grace
For by pain we all are nurtured
Until all sorrow is erased.

Grace to the author is an understanding and acceptance of a Truth which has no need to be defended and may be hard to accept.  It is to face a situation without hope of it getting better, but Faith to accept what is and will be.  It is why the Visitor is described as "hopeless" and goes to great lengths to talk about Faith.

Grace is to accept pain without blame.  Grace is to accept reality without distortion.  Grace is to give up defending, explaining, or victimizing yourself or anyone else.  

The author shares early on (page 2) the central concept of the Curse of Grace when describing who the Visitor was/is:

The Visitor could have been anyone. In fact, he would have argued he was everyone…more or less. He was not extraordinary, he was certainly no angel, and he was far from a saint. He had laughed and cried, felt pleasure and pain, and endured most of the emotional tides
which we have all shared. Perhaps he differed from most of us in his hopelessness. By that I mean he did not believe in hope.
 

It was not always that way. There was a time when he lived every day in hope, but over time the constant cascading disappointments became too heavy a load to carry. It made sense for him to give up on hope and instead anchor himself in Faith - Faith tied to destiny.
 

He would not have been keen to entertain arguments with others on whether life was a series of events open to arbitrary choice or a matter of predetermined fate. Such arguments he felt were fruitless and without consequence. Instead, he was more prone to admire a
perfectly designed system of ordered chaos constantly in flux with individual human choice. He felt there was something beautiful in the concept of unpredictable chaos within an intentional master design: a duality, like body and spirit.

This is the non-fictional underpinning of the Curse of Grace.  Simply put, the awareness and appreciation of a reality that is as dualistic in nature as the Visitor himself. 

Physical - Spiritual; Predetermined - Individual Choice; Chaos - Intentional Master Design.

As the author, I can attest that I have on numerous occasions encountered Grace, but never by my choice or at the time of my choosing.  I have been witness to things I cannot understand, I cannot explain and that defy logic.  Yet those experiences are real.  It has been found while being lost in the eyes of my Beloved while trying to deny Love.  It has been found in isolation and tears when broken down and subjected to intentional hurt by others and struggling to not hurt back.  It has been found in anger for which I can blame no-one; as all anger is owned by the one who experiences it.  Just as all hatred is owned by the one who hate; and blame lies on the conscience of the blamer.

The Curse of Grace is to be aware and to accept.  No matter what the situation.  It is to forgive while hurting.  It is to Love while being rejected.   It is to say a prayer for those who curse you.  Those are the easy parts.  The Curse is where it becomes hard.

It is to let those who you Love suffer rather than betray yourself or the truth.  It is to allow yourself to be judged in cases where defending yourself would allow an opportunity for one to dilute the Truth.  It is to "not forgive" someone (or yourself), when it may be misconstrued as giving relief to a cause for which they are not truly sorry.  At the same time, it is forgiving someone (or yourself) when you are still hurting from damage inflicted when you see that they are hurting themselves and truly ask for forgiveness. Even when you do not want to forgive.

The Curse of Grace is to be aware, and accept that which you do not wish to accept.  To understand that while your body is literally created in pleasure, your soul is born through pain.  

Willful Blindness

As promised in the previous blog, today's blog is on another central element contained within The Visitor.  The good news is this concept of willful blindness is a little easier to grasp than the theme of Duality and the Singularity (see previous blog).

Although this theme of willful blindness is easier to understand, what may surprise some readers is how frequently this theme plays out in only 90 pages.  That said, the reader should start to be familiar that within The Visitor, due to it's reliance on poetic parables, such central themes can be invoked numerous times in less words than say...these blogs.

In the prologue on page viii of The Visitor we see the first hints at the context being set up to discuss willful blindness.  Shared, but maybe not emphasized to the same degree, is the strong
suggestion that deep within us, in the silence of our souls, we know intuitively the differences between what is right and what is wrong.

The contextual set up in this sentence prior to the story beginning is the idea that we know...intuitively (or instinctively) things which we don't necessarily have to be taught, but rather we possess a knowledge, (although we might not be conscious of it), even if we ignore it rather than look within ourselves to raise it to the forefront of our everyday knowledge.  But it is there, (and it is universal - see other parts of The Visitor regarding the theme of universality).

 Page 1 of  The Visitor is actually where the theme plays out this theme with a warning from the narrator, where he basically says, before you continue reading, the Visitor would warn you:

You cannot unsee what you have seen
Nor unhear what you have heard.
Turn around now and take your leave
Or you too will own each word.

This is a literal warning to the reader.  You can only claim (and at best it's a "claim") ignorance (i.e., innocence) if you are not aware of "the rules, or the law, or social mores" etc.  This is a familiar claim, played out in the innocence of children and in the courtrooms.  The defence of "I didn't know!" The tricky part is sometimes this is true, and other times it is more of a "willful blindness" rather than a true "ignorance".  Hence the opening warning...once you "know" the plea of innocence is gone and all that is really left as a defence is "willful blindness".  Disagreement does not provide a defence.  You may disagree that driving 150km/h is not dangerous, but if you know the posted speed limit is 50 you may find your defence of personal opinion or disagreement with the rule/law may not be successful.  Truth cares little for personal opinion.  You might believe a bottle marked poison is harmless, but that personal belief may provide little comfort if you consume the contents.

To be willfully blind is to allow yourself to be blind towards your actions, inactions, reactions and to defend your actions, inactions or reactions in order to limit or decrease your guilty or culpability.  But it goes farther than that.  To decide not to read a safety manual, even though there are warnings and pleas to "Read First" is another form of willful blindness.  To not want to know, or to be too lazy to know, or to not care to know are all forms of willful blindness.  

Therefore the warning on page 1.  Once you are aware, you are aware.  You can still try and claim willful blindness, but in actuality, and in truth, your defence is only that - a "claim" that has no bearing on the truth or fact of what you do know...regardless how loud your pleas of "innocence, not knowing, not understanding, or not being aware" are defended.  Therefore, what you become of aware of, (by continuing on reading), has the power to ensure your ignorance, your not understanding; your veil of innocence and ignorance; is lifted.

You become responsible and accountable.

The Visitor shares many times the idea that even if you don't care to listen to him, you are already aware, as are we all;

• Pg 12 the Visitor shares the idea that not only do you know, but you try hard to forget you know, to the point of "staying blind" - and what he really is sharing is just what he has learned from you.

Though you try hard to forget
And stay blind to what you see,
What I share is just my debt;
To give you back the you in me.

• Pg 13 The Visitor illustrates this point further when he asks who he is to share the message that you already own (know) and longs to find its way back home (to you, from whence it came).  These secrets (buried knowledge/awareness) you know well and deeply (within your heart); the fact that you stay blind to the message is the concept of "Willful Blindness".

Who am I to deliver?
This message which you own
Which you freely shared with me
And longs like you - to find its home?

The secrets that you know too well
The message in your heart
If there were time, then time could tell
If this is the end, or just the start.

• Further yet on page 15 - the Visitor makes it even more clear he has no answers to give you that you do not already know, and that the "truths" already reside in you.  At best, he shares reminders of what you know within your own heart...even as you turn a deaf ear (Willful Blindness).

What answers can I give to you
Which stir not in your soul?
What truths can I reveal to you
You don’t already know?

I can only share reminders of
What’s written in your heart,
Even as you turn deaf ear,
The end is but a start.

• Page 20, we here the same theme from the Visitor:

The answer to your query
Already lives within your heart.

• Page 29 is another example that the answers already lie within you when the Visitor says to look in to your own heart to see if you are worthy to be an instrument of giving what you have received.  To plead ignorance to this is again just another example of Willful Blindness:

Do not tell your stories, of those undeserving
To justify your charity or greed.
Rather, look in your heart to see if you’re worthy
To be an instrument of giving; what you have received.

• One more example (but not the last instance) just to share how this theme is repeated you can find on pg 47 where the Visitor says, that when searching inside (speaking to your soul) you will not always hear what you want to hear (the truth) but to listen and not be tempted to be Willfully Blind by turning a deaf ear (ignoring what you know is right).

n speaking to your soul, it will not always say
What your ears are yearning to hear.
Do not be tempted by sweet words that sway
And blindly turn deaf your soul’s ear.

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I could go on with more examples illustrating this concept of Willful Blindness discussed in The Visitor but it perhaps will mean more if you find the other examples yourself.  Afterall, as quoted in The Visitor in the poetic parable on Knowledge, the truth is already within you, there for you to find...a journey only you can take.

He does not impede learning by insisting he’s right
But leads you to truth from within.
He fears not the darkness nor turns from the light
Takes note of the good while ignoring the sin.

He strips you from reason to reveal the truth
For these visions he sees are not yours.
He guides you to knowledge that lives within you
And leaves you - to open the doors.

Until the next blog where I will outline another central theme contained within The Visitor; one that may be a bit more entertaining if not for the shock value - "Unconditional Love???"

Journey in Love

MIchael Paul

Silence is Broken

“In the midst of confusion and near the conclusion of where reason had stripped away truth, the Visitor walked towards a familiar hill in the city closest to his home.”

— The Visitor

Chapter II of the Visitor starts with a smooth flowing sentence that is not so smoothly understood.   This simple sentence is instrumental to understanding The Visitor.

                                                                        In fact, this sentence is so essential to understanding The Visitor, that the earliest draft versions of the cover-page contained this quote.  This was actually one of the earliest lines of the novel which came into existence, and provides some insights into the mind of the author during the process of writing The Corvus Chronicles.

In this blog I am only going to focus on the first half of that first sentence..."In the midst of confusion and near the conclusion of where reason had stripped away truth,..." Those few words will be sufficient to provide an intermediate deep dive into interpreting The Visitor.

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Warning: this interpretive dive is not for the faint of heart.  I highly recommend hyper-imbibing with a nice Merlot prior to attempting this dive.  To interpret this first half of the first sentence, it is helpful to break it into three separate “chunks”. 

1.      In the midst of confusion

2.      and near the conclusion,

3.      of where reason had stripped away truth.

• In the midst of confusion:

The Visitor itself is a story which starts near the end…(the eve of death of the Visitor). However, The Visitor is only one of the books in The Corvus Chronicles.  What the reader might not understand is that The Visitor, while released first, is not the first book of the Corvus Chronicles, but rather it is actually book VII.  Not quite near the end, not at the beginning, but rather in the midst (and near the conclusion) of the story. 

The reader is made aware there is more to the story from the quick glimpse of the life of the Visitor in the opening pages.  Fifty years are recapped in under two pages between pages 5 and 7.  To understand who the Visitor is, why the story is recorded, or even why it was important enough for the narrator to “record” the event is a little puzzling, or confusing. However, the reader should be aware, that to the narrator, the story was important enough to "write the story”.  The second paragraph of The Visitor makes this point very clear, where the narrator shares:

Again, I must stress that these words are not mine. I am a mere instrument of the message. I am attempting to tell the story and record the messages as I have witnessed. While I have tried to stay true to the message, I fear that in my own translation much of the understanding is lost. However, I take no small amount of comfort in knowing that it is not until we are lost that we begin to search for our way. 

What we can take from that, if we really try to understand the narrator, is that he is sharing a “message”.  In fact, he is telling the reader that he is trying his best to “stay true to the message” …” but the message is not his own, and he is even fearful that in his “translation” of the message, understanding may be lost”.

A strong hint to the feeling of “confusion and feelings of being lost” are found in the excerpt of the next novel which is shared at the end of The Visitor.  That excerpt is from a prequel to The Visitor - The Stranger. 

What the reader has no way of knowing at this time, is in The Stranger, (which is not just a prequel to The Visitor, but is actually book one of The Corvus Chronicles) the scene which is taking place is the coming to grips of a loved one who is suffering from medical trauma involving the brain (the organ of 'reason').  The confusion, and being in the midst of confusion is a real life event.  Here is a concrete example of where the story moves from fiction to non-fiction without notice or apology (as explained to the reader in the prologue of The Visitor).

The reader is literally being pulled through a story they are unaware of, a story which begins before the book they are reading.  This part is extremely literal to the process of the narrator, who after all is “recording the events”, which is a pretty strong hint that the narrator of The Visitor is in actuality “the author”.  

“BONUS INTERPRETATION POINTS!!!
If you’re really curious about the author/narrator and consistency...start to ponder the following;

If the narrator is the author, and if the author dedicates the novel to his Beloved, then how can someone else (The Visitor) be with the Beloved in the novel?  How, if The Visitor is not the narrator (which he isn’t) be with the Beloved and the story be consistent?”

So the reality is, from the narrator/author point of view, the story is occurring in the midst of confusion – and the reality is that to the reader, while they may or may not be aware, the feeling of “confusion” is being placed upon them.  What is far too complex to get into in this “intermediate deep-dive” interpretation, is why has the sentence changed from the singularity into the plural.  Why has the narrator/author changed from using the word “I” to the words “we / our”.  That is for another day, but there is a very real change that again probably slips by most readers due to the smooth sound of the sentence.

• and near the conclusion:

As already shared, The Visitor is not the first book in The Corvus Chronicles.  The Corvus Chronicles are made up of eight separate “novellas”.  Although The Visitor is the first novella published, it is actually number seven of eight.  So The Visitor is near the conclusion, but is not the conclusion of the story.  The actual order of the novellas are:

1.      The Stranger,

2.      The Beloved

3.      The Crossing

4.      The Calm,

5.      The Storm

6.      The Awakening

7.      The Visitor

8.      ….and then the final Chapter... which cannot be named at this time without giving away the story prematurely, or prior to the reader having had the ability to discover the ending on their own.

However, for the purpose “within” the novella The Visitor, this part of The Corvus Chronicles is taking place on the last few hours before the death of the Visitor.  So, it is also very much taking place “near the conclusion” of the Visitor’s earthly visit. 

(Note:  instead of “death” I have used the term “earthly visit”… which is in line with the actual reason for the title of ‘The Visitor”.  Although the story takes place on the “eve of death”, the story is not about death at all.  In fact, it is quite the opposite,…but again, that is too deep for an intermediate deep-dive and will have to wait for another blog and much deeper interpretation to understand why the main character is only ever referenced as ‘the Visitor”.

• of where reason had stripped away truth:

This is where the "intermediate deep dive into interpretation needs to occur to start to understand what is really going on in the novel.  While the reader can relate to the story being confusing, and somewhat near the conclusion...the idea of "where reason had stripped away truth" is more challenging.  This concept is essential to understand or interpret “The Visitor”.   If you have been following the blogs in an attempt to understand The Visitor and the message within the story, then you know a few things that will help you:

1.      The Visitor is more than a Love story, it is a story of Love.  There are two separate stories occurring parallel with one another at the exact same time.  You will also understand that to the Visitor, "Love" is a sacred term, and whenever it is used it is in contrast to the mundane connotations of common usage.

2.      The Visitor as a character within the story is described very deliberately as “dualistic”.  He sees the world in black or white, in or out, right or wrong, sacred or mundane”.  (In fact it is argued that any essence of things in between he is only able to perceive by his Beloved)

3.      The Visitor is never referenced by name.  Even though this story takes place in the hours before his death, he is not referenced by any name or by any other term such as “The Departed” or anything like that.  In fact, the poetic parables talk about “the procession of life” and about the similarity between death and birth.  The Visitor himself references himself simply as “a guest” who’s time it is “to leave”.  

4.      There are total chapters and poetic parables devoted to the notions of “Knowledge” and “Truth”.  These are concepts important enough and intrinsic enough to the understanding of the story that they have their own chapters devoted to them.  

If you are aware of these few things, then you might be ready to tackle the interpretation of, “where reason had stripped away truth”.  This is best done by understanding that the two main terms, “reason” and “truth” are set as “counterpoints” to each other.  The terms as used within the story and this sentence are not interchangeable.

Michael Paul:

It is never about being ‘right’; but rather, about uncovering the ‘truth’. 

Michael Paul, The Visitor, pg ix

For the purpose of interpretation,  "reason" is the rationale mind which draws conclusions based by observable experience.  It is akin to understanding the relationship between "cause and effect".  It is in essence the human mind (ie., fleshy brain).   At the beginning of The Visitor, we are exposed to this notion of "cause and effect" as shared by the narrator when describing an early experience of the Visitor. 

Though unable to understand why the birds behaved in this way, he was aware they were responding to his acknowledgement. His choice determined which bird came closer. His actions had consequence,even if he did not understand what the consequence meant or why
the birds behaved as they did.

This is the narrator explaining the nature of "understanding, awareness, consequences", basically "reasoning".  The Visitor was aware or understood his actions had consequences - even though he did not understand "why".  This is the nature of reasoning (or reason). 

Towards the end of The Visitor in the poetic parable on Faith this acknowledgment of the limitations of reason becomes evident.  In this section the Visitor shares the following:

Faith is not exclusive to any one church.
Faith is relentless - beyond reason or belief,
Believing in more than can be found in the search
Accepting what is without proof of relief.

Simply put, the difference between reason and Faith is spelled out clearly.  Faith is relentless - beyond reason or belief.  This is in direct contrast to Truth, which is not bound by limits or understanding.

Reason is often seen as a "rationale" argument, cause and effect, understanding, logic, even common-sense.  It is effective for successful protection of the material, of the flesh, of everything physical.  In essence, the mundane or carnal.

Truth, to the dualistic view and nature of the Visitor is the polar opposite.  Truth does not require argument, logic or common sense.  It exists beyond the material, the flesh or the physical.  It is in essence, the sacred.  Belief or proof or argument does not change the Truth. The truth simply is.  

This distinction is made very clear at the outset of The Visitor, in page ix, before the story begins where the author shares, It is never about being ‘right’; but rather, about uncovering the ‘truth’.  This idea is so central to the novel that it is repeated right after the prologue on pg 3 of The Visitor; To him it was never a matter of being right, but rather of uncovering the truth.

There is a distinct difference between what we see or argue as right, to what we may or may not see but is True.  This is the dualistic view of the Visitor.  It is the physical against the spiritual. It is the carnal against the sacred.  It is the conflict between the push of the flesh and the pull of the Spirit.  And it is something which the Visitor see's no value in arguing.  For example, see page 2 of the novel:

He would not have been keen to entertain arguments with others on whether life was a series of events open to arbitrary choice or a matter of predetermined fate. Such arguments he felt were fruitless and without consequence. Instead, he was more prone to admire a perfectly designed system of ordered chaos constantly in flux with individual human choice. He felt there was something beautiful in the concept of unpredictable chaos within an intentional master design: a duality, like body and spirit.

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If you were able to follow this last part then you are ready to understand the sentiment, "...where reason had stripped away truth..."

The arguments, the understanding, the acceptance, the reason of everything makes no sense.  Why be born to die?  Why find joy just to suffer?  Why anything?  

This is the message. This is the central point of why the Visitor leaves his home to gather with those he Love's prior to leaving.  This is the reason why the story is important enough to be transcribed by the narrator.  

To understand the story, you must enter it where reason had stripped away Truth, and find that all reason really did in it's stripping of the Truth, was "uncover the Truth". 

Hence: 

In the midst of confusion and near the conclusion of where reason had stripped away truth, the Visitor walked towards a familiar hill in the city closest to his home.

Remember from the earlier blogs,  the beginning is always somewhat vague, and it is only at the end that clarity begins.  So here...near the conclusion, amidst the confusion, where reason has stripped away - and uncovered the Truth...here begins "clarity".

Until next time, Journey in Love

Michael Paul